Day 64: Change

A change has come.

I met a friend and coaching client that I haven’t seen in a while, and in the first few minutes of our conversation she reminded me of my plans several months ago to start a coaching website. I recalled the excitement of speaking to her about it. And in speaking to her about this blog, my own feelings revealed to me that it is not turning out to be something I am excited to be doing on a daily basis. The only thing that was keeping me to it was my commitment itself, but it is no longer serving me.

Though I am still quite interested in trying to measure the effects of intense presence and intention over the course of a year, and will be continuing with the project, this blog no longer seems an essential aspect of it.

I am currently considering changing this website into something closer to my original plan–a hub for interactive coaching conversations. My friend reminded me of how much benefit she got from our coaching sessions, and I want to get back to the enjoyment of having a direct positive impact on people’s lives.

Thank you to those who have followed me on this journey up to now. I hope you stay with me through the changes I have planned!

Day 63: Vibes

Today I am in a state of honestly not knowing how to deal with the energy of others that is present with me these days. It’s not a good or bad thing, it is just a new reality for me with a baby present and us relying on the help of other people to not be able to simply distance myself from non-resonant energy.

The trek goes on.

Day 62: It’s Time

The time has come.

Making changes out of necessity is powerful. Making changes out of choice is even more powerful, because then I am no longer driven by external circumstances, but simply have come to realize once and for all what the best way to be is.

I believe the universe does nudge or push us in the direction we need to go, but the full event, what we are here to experience, is to choose presence, oneness, God, without being pushed from the outside in the slightest.

I don’t know the full requirements of this choice. In this moment, I know inside myself the type of daily thoughts and actions I could be making to move me in the right direction… letting go of over-indulgence, getting past my small addictions, getting things done that will help to create a more sacred space around me and emanate a higher vibration for those around me.

It starts here, quietly, without fanfare. And the plan is, as it always has been, to report on the miracles that come forth as a result.

Day 60: The Truth

On Day 60, 1/6th into the journey, the truth is that I am not doing the ‘work’ enough to really have something significant to report every day.

I see that old addictions like staying on the computer long and late, and not getting proper sleep are still present. I am not taking any quiet time to set out my daily intention to manifest abundance.

That is not to say that I’m not enjoying my life. Things are going pretty well right now. Perhaps I am on the ebb side of an ebb and flow that will rush me further into intense presence or some other mystical experience when the tide turns.

And so I sail on…

 

Day 59: The Design

I have often found that casting our world as a play with people choosing to be good guys and bad guys for the purpose of evolving consciousness very liberating, in the sense that it is much easier to understand and forgive all malevolent acts. And I believe it speaks to the awakening we are all coming up to, where loving our enemies is an essential step for all of us to make. I came upon a quick story that refers to this on the American Kabuki website:

The Cosmic Architects and Designers were all present, admiring their brilliant design and machinations of all the Cosmos.  It was done.

One smiled with an Inner-Knowing that unsettled the others.  One questioned, “Who will play the bad guy roles?”

The Architects and Designers all looked in expectant silence of each other, as each became Aware that they really did not want to play these darkest roles… for a reason they could not identify.

Each Architect and Designer looked amongst each other, still not able to identify this unsettling feeling that propelled “Not I” to issue from their Being in various resigned tones.

One said, “I will play the ‘bad guy’ roles, on one condition.”

Feeling an unidentified inner-relief at the offer, yet, inexplicably even more unsettled, the others asked, “What is the condition?

One said, “That One of You remembers, with all Your Being, to tell Me You Love Me while I Am playing ‘the bad guy’ roles.”

The confusion reverberated through in at this seemingly insignificant and simple condition.  Finally, the unsettling feelings within the others propelled the silent question to be spoken:  “Why?”

One said, “Because, if You forget to tell Me You Love Me, with all Your Being, I Am lost within these dark roles, potentially for eternity, until the moment You Do remember.

The eternal weight and significance of this once, seemingly simple condition, shined a new light to their Cosmic design.

Isn’t this great?

Day 58: Cutting Some Slack

I missed a blog entry yesterday as I got home after 2 a.m from playing hockey and then having a drink with a friend. That’s the second time it’s happened since I got back from vacation but I have decided not to beat myself up over not completely blogging on consecutive days and really focus on the deeper essence of the project: staying mindful and manifesting abundance.

I feel that one day soon I will be drawn to a renewed commitment to intense presence, it’s just that it is not happening at the moment and I need to be ok about it. As I have said before, having my wife’s parents here helping us out has given me the opportunity to enjoy a bit more free time, get out and do some work (tutoring writing, which I am enjoying, and some coaching as well, which I love). At the same time it can be a distraction and I need to learn to deal with it.

I had an interesting feeling today that I’ll just express as it is. I started thinking about “The Jet Song” from my favorite musical “West Side Story” and even started singing it in the car. I had an image of myself going to an audition (I used to perform in musical theatre and loved it) and singing that song and just blowing people away with my confidence.  Not sure where that thought originated, but it was a nice feeling nonetheless!

Day 57: Franticity

Things were a little frantic around the house today energy-wise, and certainly it is a challenge to move into intense presence in that situation. While there was much tension from time to time, there was also an awareness of the lessons that needed to be learned from it.

It seems a bit of progress is being made without it really being felt, that is to say presence comes a bit more naturally in difficult situations even if there is not as much of it as there might have been at more peaceful times.

I can’t help but feel the intensifying of everything… energy, feelings, conflict, learning…and it all feels more and more like a preparation for something big, something looming, for which even my goal to manifest abundance is just a side-show.

 

Day 55: Reconfiguring

On a day that I reconfigured my wireless network, adding an old router and creating a stronger signal through the house (which I’m quite proud of), it occurs to me that this project needs to be reconfigured a bit.

Perhaps what threw me off recently was the freedom I gained from my in-laws taking care of the baby often, which ‘relieved’ me from a very intense focus since I used my free time to recapture some of the enjoyment of my old lifestyle. There seemed to be less urgency for intense presence in the space of things working out so well lately. Does that make sense?

Something inside me knows that reaching for intense presence is what I need to be doing right now though. I have some adjustments to make in terms of keeping my focus on that under these new circumstances.

But I feel good and I feel happy right now. Certainly a nice place to start.